Finding a Perfect Match

Earlier this week we celebrated Valentines Day. A lovely day for all those who are in love or at least that’s what Hallmark would like us to believe.  So, trusting Hallmark, Last V-day I had decided to get a date for myself for this V-day.  A target to be achieved over one year. My responsible parents also helped me in my goal by introducing me to few girls as  a part of “modern arranged marriage”. I briefly appeared in few commercial matrimonial websites and was introduced to few more girls. At the end of one year, to achieve my target, this V-day I went to my local grocery store and bought dates for $1.49 a pound. I must say I enjoyed my dates.  They were seedless.

Now this made me think why after one year, I was eating dates and watching my university loose at home in a lousy basketball game, instead of being on a candle light dinner with one of the million girls I was introduced to. (ok, not that many, but close. very close).

So the question is: is it something in me which girls find freaky or is it something in girls, I really find freaky. Former would be true for 90 percent of them, but for rest of the 10 percent, there was something surely about them which totally freaks me out. I decided to talk about the characteristics of those 10 percent by pointing out just the few things about them or what they said which really annoyed me.

1) “I am Fun-loving, confident and smart”: Most ridiculously overused adjectives on shaadi dot com and if you still describe yourself with any of these then you must be banished for your life for extreme lack of creativity.  Do you really think by saying this you are pointing out any specific characteristics about you.  Some other cliched adjectives which are generally used for describing their life partner are ‘caring and understanding’. Ok, thanks for pointing that out. I would have given a damn about you otherwise.

2) “You should make me Laugh”: I  SHOULD? These women think men are made for the sole purpose of their entertainment. So just a note for these pretty ladies…You have not hired me from your local Rent-A-Clown company. Do not expect me to tickle your ribs the moment I start talking to you. Go get a life for yourself than expecting me to bring that for you.

3) “I am not your Average Girl”: I just felt like shooting her from within my computer. You are not MY average girl? MY MY? who is MY average girl? and why is AVERAGE girl mine? and what makes you above average? and what makes others AVERAGE? If you think that just by using over-gloating language like this, you could bring awe around you, you are hallucinating.

4) Ma, Moi, Da:  Now it must be “french and classy” way of saying, “me, my and the” but I hate it. I do not know why and may be I am not justified, but I hate it. I just get an impression that you are trying to be extra classy. May be I just dont like classy women. or may be I just prefer plain English. So if you are just going Ma, Moi over me, we are not going too far.

5)”What TYPE of girl you are looking far?”:  This is surely a very innocent question which most of the girls have for guys, but with all due respect, I am not out for my car shopping with a “type” in my mind. And how many “types” are out there anyway? And if you still want to know, read this post.

6)”Tell me about yourself”: Again another innocent question, but do you mind if I answer this only during my job interview? Can you ask something else? more specific more friendly?

7) Pink Loving girls: I understand that girls like to be pinkish but there should be a limit. A serious limit. A girl wrapped from head to toe in pink with pink bag, pink ipod and pink water bottle, pink shoes, pink scarf is more repulsive than Karan Johar. Ok not that repulsive, but still repulsive enough.

As random as this post was, the only point I am trying to make is how different words could relay different messages to different people and how funny the entire process of online matchmaking is.  Even after being introduced to someone for “understanding better” their “compatibility” as a life partner, and chatting/talking to them for days, weeks or even months, I understand them no better than I understand Arundati Roy.

Other than that, I intend no disrespect to anyone except for Karan Johar and Arundati Roy.

The actual question is do you ever really understand someone? Does talking, chatting or for that matter even falling in love with someone really helps in making a better decision as opposed to traditional arranged marriage where you skip the entire process and just get married!