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Sachin quits international cricket April 7, 2007

Posted by sk in 2007 World Cup, Cricket, cricket - क्रिकेट, Sachin Tendulkar, Satire, Sports.
8 comments

Moments after the Indian cricket board decided to crack down on the senior Indian players, ace batsman, Sachin Tendulkar retired from International cricket to concentrate on his modeling career instead. “The three sponsor/ products rule is ridiculous,” Sachin said in a crowded press conference in Mumbai today, referring to the BCCI’s decision to restrict the number of products a player can endorse. “”The board doesn’t realize that great players like me are brand ambassadors of the sport and our endorsements are only one way of spreading the game.” When asked by a reporter if he would be as popular once he quit cricket, Sachin took the example of Anna Kournikova. “I don’t remember the last time she played tennis. Isn’t she still popular?” he asked. Former cricketers Sunil Gavaskar and Ajay Jadeja lauded Sachin’s move. “

 

After the press conference, Sachin and his new “bff” (best friend forever), Saurav Ganguly participated in an effigy burning of ex-coach, Greg Chappell, organized jointly by the Maharashtra  Sena and the Bengal Tigers.

 

Readers of this blog may be aware that the BCCI’s decision was in response to Sachin’s interview that was first posted on this blog.

 

<I never knew I’d be so interested in cricket. This rocks! I know I’ve been picking on Sachin Tendulkar a lot lately. It’s fun.>

Sachin: I’ll continue to play till we win a World Cup March 24, 2007

Posted by sk in Cricket, cricket - क्रिकेट, Sachin Tendulkar, Satire, Sports.
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Prem Pareshankar of G-Cricket, a new cricketing magazine was able to get an exclusive interview with Sachin Tendulkar.

 

Prem (P): Hi Sachin. How are you?

Sachin (S): Hi. I’m doing well. I heard you wanted me to endorse you.

P: Uhhh… I wanted an interview with you actually.

S: *Muttering under his breath* Damn!

P: Excuse me?

S: Uhh… nothing.

P: So, let me introduce myself again – I’m Prem Pareshankar from G-Cricket Magazine (a new magazine about cricket), here to interview you.

S: Are you sure you don’t want me to endorse you? I mean, that’ll boost your magazine’s sales.

P: Not right now. We don’t have the budget. So, what are your thoughts about your defeat against Sri Lanka and where do you plan to go from here?

S: As you know, we’ve lost to Sri Lanka and are almost out of the 2007 World Cup. But the good news is that I’ve decided to play cricket as long as it takes for us to win a World Cup.

P: Don’t you think you’ll be too old? There is a section of people who think you should have retired long ago.

S: I’m not answerable to anyone but the companies that endorse me. As long as they feel that I’m good, I’ll continue to play. Actually, I can give you a 50% discount if you want me to endorse you.

P: Oh, thanks. I’ll talk to the publishers about that. Who do you think was responsible for India’s exit?

S: Bangladesh!

P: Care to elaborate?

S: Sure. Bangladesh was responsible for our exit. If Bangladesh hadn’t beaten us, we would have surely made it to the next round.

P: No. I mean, why did India lose?

S: Oh, I would say it was because of the tremendous pressure on our team from fans back home. They had unrealistic expectations from us.

P: But isn’t it also because of the fans that you have so many endorsements? No other country’s players have this kind of endorsements.

S: The two are unrelated. Look at my fine fifty against Bermuda. Doesn’t that justify all the endorsements?

P: Are you disappointed with the outcome?

S: Of course, look at the amount of money we’ve lost in terms of endorsements.

P: That’s all I have for you, Sachin. Thanks for taking the time to talk to us.

S: No problem… and don’t forget my offer.

 

None of the other players were available for interviews as they were busy shooting advertisements.

Three and done! March 23, 2007

Posted by sk in 2007 World Cup, Cricket, cricket - क्रिकेट, Sachin Tendulkar, Sports.
4 comments

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Despite a brilliant knock by the master blaster, Sachin Tendulkar, India crashed to defeat against a brilliant Sri Lankan team. When India restricted Sri Lanka to a total of 254/6 in the allotted 50 overs, it seemed like the formidable Indian batting line up would get the job done. India was very much in the chase as long as the master blaster, possibly playing in his last World Cup match was at the crease. Sachin was at the crease for a total of five minutes , faced three balls and scored 0 runs with 0 fours and 0 sixes, none of which is a World Record. His exit resulted in a familiar sight for Indian fans with the rest of the team collapsing. While India’s World Cup campaign is all but over, a positive for the team was their “brilliant” performance against Bermuda, a formidable opponent. Meanwhile, a spokesman for the Indian team told the media that the two matches were fixed and that players of Bangladesh and Sri Lanka were paid a lot of money to beat India.