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Sachin quits international cricket April 7, 2007

Posted by sk in 2007 World Cup, Cricket, cricket - क्रिकेट, Sachin Tendulkar, Satire, Sports.
8 comments

Moments after the Indian cricket board decided to crack down on the senior Indian players, ace batsman, Sachin Tendulkar retired from International cricket to concentrate on his modeling career instead. “The three sponsor/ products rule is ridiculous,” Sachin said in a crowded press conference in Mumbai today, referring to the BCCI’s decision to restrict the number of products a player can endorse. “”The board doesn’t realize that great players like me are brand ambassadors of the sport and our endorsements are only one way of spreading the game.” When asked by a reporter if he would be as popular once he quit cricket, Sachin took the example of Anna Kournikova. “I don’t remember the last time she played tennis. Isn’t she still popular?” he asked. Former cricketers Sunil Gavaskar and Ajay Jadeja lauded Sachin’s move. “

 

After the press conference, Sachin and his new “bff” (best friend forever), Saurav Ganguly participated in an effigy burning of ex-coach, Greg Chappell, organized jointly by the Maharashtra  Sena and the Bengal Tigers.

 

Readers of this blog may be aware that the BCCI’s decision was in response to Sachin’s interview that was first posted on this blog.

 

<I never knew I’d be so interested in cricket. This rocks! I know I’ve been picking on Sachin Tendulkar a lot lately. It’s fun.>

Sachin: I’ll continue to play till we win a World Cup March 24, 2007

Posted by sk in Cricket, cricket - क्रिकेट, Sachin Tendulkar, Satire, Sports.
9 comments

Prem Pareshankar of G-Cricket, a new cricketing magazine was able to get an exclusive interview with Sachin Tendulkar.

 

Prem (P): Hi Sachin. How are you?

Sachin (S): Hi. I’m doing well. I heard you wanted me to endorse you.

P: Uhhh… I wanted an interview with you actually.

S: *Muttering under his breath* Damn!

P: Excuse me?

S: Uhh… nothing.

P: So, let me introduce myself again – I’m Prem Pareshankar from G-Cricket Magazine (a new magazine about cricket), here to interview you.

S: Are you sure you don’t want me to endorse you? I mean, that’ll boost your magazine’s sales.

P: Not right now. We don’t have the budget. So, what are your thoughts about your defeat against Sri Lanka and where do you plan to go from here?

S: As you know, we’ve lost to Sri Lanka and are almost out of the 2007 World Cup. But the good news is that I’ve decided to play cricket as long as it takes for us to win a World Cup.

P: Don’t you think you’ll be too old? There is a section of people who think you should have retired long ago.

S: I’m not answerable to anyone but the companies that endorse me. As long as they feel that I’m good, I’ll continue to play. Actually, I can give you a 50% discount if you want me to endorse you.

P: Oh, thanks. I’ll talk to the publishers about that. Who do you think was responsible for India’s exit?

S: Bangladesh!

P: Care to elaborate?

S: Sure. Bangladesh was responsible for our exit. If Bangladesh hadn’t beaten us, we would have surely made it to the next round.

P: No. I mean, why did India lose?

S: Oh, I would say it was because of the tremendous pressure on our team from fans back home. They had unrealistic expectations from us.

P: But isn’t it also because of the fans that you have so many endorsements? No other country’s players have this kind of endorsements.

S: The two are unrelated. Look at my fine fifty against Bermuda. Doesn’t that justify all the endorsements?

P: Are you disappointed with the outcome?

S: Of course, look at the amount of money we’ve lost in terms of endorsements.

P: That’s all I have for you, Sachin. Thanks for taking the time to talk to us.

S: No problem… and don’t forget my offer.

 

None of the other players were available for interviews as they were busy shooting advertisements.

More Google units opt in for "opt out" March 18, 2007

Posted by sk in Google, Satire, Technology and Software.
5 comments

After successfully implementing the “opt out” policy in the Google Book Search program – where Google copied every book irrespective of its copyright status , giving publishers who didn’t want to be part of the program a chance to opt out – and using a similar policy in YouTube –  where video clips are removed only when the copyright owner complains – Google decided to implement a similar policy in some of it other business units. I’m providing two examples here but there are more:

  • Since Google has been growing at a phenomenal rate with 50-100 new employees joining every week, there’s been a shortage of office space. Someone at Google used his 20% personal research time to come up with a brilliant plan to occupy empty offices in Mountain View, CA and stay there until the building owners kicked them out.  When asked why this would work, Google’s response was, “We give them free WI-FI, no?”
  • Another example is the personal records and information of users. Google recently decided to that it would sell this personal information to third parties unless the individual decided to op out, in which case it will purge all identifying information from its servers after 18 to 24 months.

A spokesperson for Google described “opt-out” as the new way of doing business at Google. The company has also decided to modify its unofficial motto to “Don’t be evil. Don’t opt out.”

Meanwhile, Google recently recognized its partners who brought in most advertising revenues. The top three didn’t turn up for the funtion – they were busy typo-squatting some more websites.